So very far behind

Am I
in this little blogging
adventure
of mine.
I have a extremely good reason though.
New thoughts and tales
to come.

Rachael Ray giveaway over at From Our Place To Your’s!

My friend Mrs.B is delightful and is having a hot giveaway over on her own blog! Rachael Ray cookware!

Head on over and follow her for a chance to win!   From Our Place To Yours.

Haiti

I haven’t been able to tear my eyes away from the news.  I frantically scan Twitter for the latest news.   The disaster in Haiti has touched place deep inside me.  I want to bring home all the orphans.  I want to hug just one Haitian. I want to do something.

Have you felt like me?   Have you felt your heart beating for these people, yet felt helpless?

Compassion International serves over 65,ooo children and their families in Haiti. Every penny of what you give will be used for them. Give to Compassion.  There is no organization that I trust more.  Click the picture.  Reach into your pockets.  Give beyond your $10 text message.

My mind wanders…

… and today I was thinking about my life as a movie. Not that I am conceited or just absolutely craving movie star attention, ’cause I am not. I was just kinda wondering what it would be like if I let someone else make a movie about my life. Who would they chose to play me? What would the music be like? What would the genre be? Would the director be young and cool or would he be kinda boring and stodgy? Would the audience love my character or hate my character? Would the story line bore them to tears? Have them rolling on the floor laughing? Have them hitting their face with their palms, wondering how I could be so stupid? Or would they be in awe of God’s work in my life? Would they be able to relate to me?

If I let someone have creative freedom, what would they do with their perception of me? I think I am too scared to know.

See… I just want my life to have meaning. Purpose. I just want to do everything I can to turn the world upside down for Jesus. I want to go out and love people so much it hurts. Then I want to come home and rest in Jesus’s arms.

Would what I desire so much even be a blip in my storyline?

Christmas

I realize this post is a little late, but hey… it’s been a busy year already!  I think Christmas ‘o9 ranks in the top two Christmas’s of all times.  It was so chill and so fun.

Christmas Eve- I worked which I was dreading, but it turned out to be really good.  We tracked Santa all day and exchanged gifts.  I got a nice little bonus and the cutest homemade cards ever.  To die for.  I watched UP with the kids…  depressing, but they loved it!  My bro and sis-in-law came up from NC and got in pretty late. I was so stoked though.  I love having them around.  While we waited for them to arrive, we made up a game of Christmas Scrabble.  I wish I had a picture of our board.  None of the words ended up being Christmasy at all!

Christmas day- I was feeling pretty cruddy and took Tylenol PM the night before and insisted that everyone let me sleep in.  We had a house full of adults who wanted to be up at the crack off dawn.  Yes, Santa still comes to visit overnight here.  However, I was the first one up that morning.  6:30, my body is trained.  So I ran upstairs and got into bed with my sister.  She was pissed.  Hehehe, it was great!

My favorite gift- I have yet to receive, since it requires a day trip to Ikea.  Which I am completely fine with!  It’s going to be perfect at my desk.  So comfy for those late nights I stay up writing papers and blogs!  My current desk chair is uncomfortable, bad for my posture and breaks every time I sit in it.  I am soooo thankful for the new chair!

Also under the tree lay: a new yoga mat, lotso books, a fleece blanket to add the the pile of warmth on my bed, and this:  

Isn’t that adorable?  It’s from shopgreenbeing.com, a store located in Scranton, PA.  How fun.  It’s the perfect companion for my joe or chai.

We got to spend Christmas day with my Grandparents, eat lots of yummy food and played an amazing game of Apples to Apples to top off the night.

Great Christmas.  And 2010 is off to a great start as well!  I already posted some “resolutions” for the year. (I know, I know…. backwards posts.)

2010 To Be Read

My pile keeps getting bigger.  Christmas gifts and B&N gift cards only made matters worse!  (Or better….)  

Ew, that pic is so grainy.  Sorry.  I am slowly learning that if I am going to be a blogger of any importance I need a real camera and not my crappy phone camera.

Resolutions?

I don’t do resolutions at the new year, generally speaking.  2009 was one big turning point for me and so I don’t feel like I really need to start the resolution tradition this year either. I am enjoying the journey that God has set out for me so far!   2009 has been one crazy, wonderful and exciting year.   I have learned and grown so much.  It’s amazing.

However, there are a few things that I DO want to be more purposeful about.  I am already doing these things, but I think I can do them better.

1. Be more involved with the people around me.

2. Write and pray for my 2 girls sponsered through Compassion more often

3. Lose the weight- okay, so this was my resolution last year.  And I did lose most of it.  Then I pretty much gained it all back.  Suck.

4. Read more

5. Dive into Grad School full force and enjoy it!

6.  Be more purposeful in my relationship with the Lord

Whatcha got for me in 2010, Lord?  Bring it on!

Family Dreams

I love my job.  As a kid, the only thing I could ever imagine myself doing when I “grew up” was being a mom.  Well, now at age 25 I am grown up.  Yet, I am not a mom.   I am a nanny and some days I have moments when I want to rip my hair out.  For the most part though, my heart bursts with love every single day.  I love these kids.  I love getting to know them.  I love watching them grow.  I love seeing their individual personalities.  Some days my heart hurts because I am so in love with them.  They make me laugh, cry, dance like a fool, sing off key, and re-discover parts of myself that I thought I had died a long time ago.   I love every minute of it.

Today has been an interesting day for us.  It is Christmas break and we are out of our usual routine.   But, the moments have been awesome!  It’s great to have everyone home and hanging out.

As we sat down to eat, hold hands and pray at dinner time,  I was thinking about how much I love these kids.  Then I started thinking about how much I am going to love my own.  I think I might need 2 hearts to hold all the love.  I can not describe how I feel for these children who aren’t my flesh and blood… how in the world am I going to be able to describe a mother’s love when I am one?

Sometimes I fear that I will be alone and never get married.  The thing that scares me the most about this is the fact that I won’t be able to experience carrying, birthing and raising my own child.   Having a family is the deepest and most vulnerable desire of my heart. It goes to the very core of who I am.  I have a picture of my future family in my heart and mind that I carry with me.     I am not naive enough to think it will come true the way I have imagined it, I know God has my journey in the palm of his hands.  However, I can not help but take the dream out every now and then and pray over it.   The dream I carry is gray and unclear, I am unsure of how it will play out.  But I love it all the same.  I love the hope that it promises.  I love knowing that one day the Lord truly will grant me the desires of my heart.  If he does not intend for me to have a family of my own one day, he would not have given me this dream that lives so deep within me.

Right now, a three year old is crawling onto my lap and  the 6 year old is clearing the dinner table without being asked.  Maybe I am just a big softie, but these things warm my heart.

I’m going to bask in this part of my journey and soak it all up now, while I pray for the desires of my heart and trust that He will indeed provide.

Blueberry Cream Cheese Rolls

They made their appearance this past Christmas morning.   Delish.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon granulated sugar
• One 1/4-ounce package active dry yeast
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
• 1 1/4 teaspoons salt
• 1 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons milk
• 1 large egg
• 4 cups flour
• 2 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 4 ounces cream cheese
• One 10-ounce jar blueberry preserves

Directions

1. Combine 1/4 cup warm water, 1 teaspoon granulated sugar and the yeast; let stand for 5 minutes.
2. Using an electric mixer, beat the butter with the salt and the remaining 2 tablespoons granulated sugar until fluffy. Beat in 1 1/4 cups milk, the egg and the yeast mixture. Gradually add the flour at low speed. Transfer the dough to a floured surface and knead for 2 minutes. Place in a greased bowl and turn to coat. Cover and refrigerate overnight to let rise.

   Next Day

3. Preheat the oven to 400°. Grease a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. On a floured surface, roll out the dough into a 12-by-16-inch rectangle. Spread the blueberry preserves on the dough, leaving a 2-inch border. Roll up lengthwise and seal the edges. Slice into 12 pieces and place in the pan cut sides up. Bake until golden-brown, 20 to 25 minutes.

   4. While they cook, using an electric mixer, beat the confectioners’ sugar, cream cheese and remaining 2 tablespoons milk.

   5. Top rolls with the cream cheese icing.

Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins

Yesterday I made the decision to get back on track with my eating and workouts.  The past few months have been so busy that I have let myself go.  When I stepped on the scale the other day I was so upset with myself!  My size 12′s are starting to get tight.  Oh no!  Back to hard work for me.  I have done it before and I can do it again!

Then… I found these.  Dun Dun Dun.  (Over at one of my fav cooking blogs)

Don’t they look amazing!?  I just had to make them.  I have no idea about the calorie count and frankly I don’t want to know!  I ate um… 2 and a half today.  Yikes!   But they are SO GOOD!  Enjoy!

Pumpkin Cheesecake Muffins

3 cups flour
3 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons nutmeg
1 ½ teaspoons ground cloves
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
4 eggs
1 ¼ cups vegetable oil
2 cups sugar
2 cups pumpkin puree

4 ounces cream cheese, softened
4 ounces marscapone cheese, softened
½ cup powdered sugar

½ cup brown sugar
½ cup flour
4 tablespoons cold butter, cubed
1 ½ teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans

First, prepare the filling. Combine the cream cheese, marscapone cheese, and powdered sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer until smooth and fluffy. Form into a log on plastic wrap or foil, making sure that the diameter is small enough to fit into the well of a muffin pan. Wrap the log up tightly and freeze for at least one hour.

Preheat the oven to 350°. Line muffin pans with paper liners for 24 muffins.

To make the muffin batter, combine the flour, spices, salt and baking soda in a medium bowl. Whisk together and set aside. In the bowl of your electric mixer, combine the eggs, the oil, the sugar and the pumpkin. Beat until well combined. Add the dry ingredients and mix on low speed until just the flour is moistened.

To make the streusel topping, combine all ingredients in a small bowl. Mix together with a pastry blender or your fingers until crumbly.

Next, fill each muffin cup halfway with batter. Remove the cheesecake log from the freezer and slice into 24 pieces. Place a slice in each muffin well. Divide the remaining muffin batter evenly among the muffin cups, covering up the cheesecake pieces. Sprinkle the streusel topping over the top of each muffin. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Cool completely on racks before serving.

My phone picture.

Back to healthy eating tomorrow!